I like helping in this class for a few reasons: I don't know any of the kids as my own students, so it's a completely blank slate when it comes to working with them; also, since I'm la maîtresse d'anglais, and rarely deal with this bunch, they are always super excited to see me and all clamor for my attention and want to impress me (which the classroom teacher loves because it motivates them to actually work!); and though they are far from being the brightest crayons in the box (we're talking nothing brighter than beige, seriously!), most of them work dilligently and try really hard to figure things out.
Plus, they're *adorable*.
And hilarious.
"How many days until the lapin de Pâques comes?" one little boy asked as we entered the classroom yesterday morning.
"First of all," his teacher responded, "it's not the Easter rabbit, but the Easter hare who comes. And Easter is in about two weeks," she continued while pulling out a calendar. "Here's today. Then tomorrow and then the weekend. Then next week. You'll get your report cards at the end of next week. Then another weekend, and then it's the last week before vacation. But it's not even a full week, because here in Moselle, children don't go to school and parents don't go to work on Friday. But only in Moselle. That's because when the Germans came and invaded, they didn't work on that day. And when they left, they left the tradition. So in Moselle, we never work on the Friday before Easter."
"Ohh, cool!" someone exclaimed.
"Yes, well, they also killed lots of people too, and that was less cool. ...That day is called 'Easter Friday,' and that's the day when the church bells go to Rome. On Thursday evening when you go home from school, that's the last time you'll hear the bells ring, because they all leave and go to Rome to visit the Pope. You won't hear any bells on Friday or on Saturday. Then, Saturday, during the night, the bells come back from Rome, full of chocolates and treats. They spill the chocolates and treats on the ground, and it's the Easter Hare who picks them up and hides them in your houses and gardens for you to find on Easter Sunday. And then you'll hear the bells ringing again, because they've come back from Rome."
"Once, the Easter Rabbit left a chocolate egg in the tree in my backyard," someone volunteered.
"Well, since hares don't climb trees, it must have landed there when it fell from a bell," the teacher reasoned.
"Easter is about Jésus, right?" another one asked.
"Yes," she responded, "Easter is about when Jesus died and then was resurrected."
"He was nailed on the cross, right?" someone slightly more informed asked.
"Yes."
"Does that hurt?"
"Yes, I would think so!"
"Jesus had lots of friends!" one shouted.
"...I think you mean 'apostles,'" the teacher suggested, "and there were twelve of them."
"Yeah, his twelve pals!"
"But one was mean!" another added.
"Yes, well, those of you who take religion class will hear more about this from Madame Jésus soon, I'm sure. For now, let's get on to our morning routine."
We were nearly 30 minutes behind schedule already. Life in first grade...
Incidentally, "Madame Jésus" is the nickname generally given to the women that come into the schools to teach religion (read: catechism).
Funny story of my own about that: early last year when I was occasionally hearing about this Madame Jésus person who taught religion, I thought it first of all hilarious that the catechism teacher was named Mrs. Jesus, and second I assumed it must be the same woman who taught religion at my two schools, since teachers at both called the religion teacher by the same (ironic) name. What was the chance that there were two religion teachers named Mrs. Jesus?! It took a stupidly long time before I realized that, in fact, Madame Jésus was just the generic nickname for all the religion teachers. And I find that the funniest thing of all!
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